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”My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can go in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language entirely out of tattoos.Money can’t buy happiness, but it keeps the kids in touch!Now, go have a nice day, or whichever kind of day you want.Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, “Where did you get such a great bike?”The second engineer replied, “Well, I was walking along yesterday,. I’m momentarily lost for words, before one the guys pipes up, “You can speak now, Ian!” and the table bursts into laughter, as they can clearly see how taken I am by her!As the meal progresses, I find my attention constantly wandering to the waitress, my eyes watching as she glides effortlessly round the floor, arms full of plates and drinks, face always smiling, despite the obvious stress she’s under, in the oppressive Hong Kong heat.The second evening and the atmosphere is more relaxed come the evening meal. My heart skips a beat of delight, when once again ‘my girl’ comes over to ask us for our order.As we progress to the desserts, quite a few from our table leave and I get a chance to have a little chat with the waitress, as I settle the bill. Her name is Sue, and it turns out she’s from the Philippines and has moved up to HK to earn better wage for her family, who are from a poor rural area. She still has some tasks to do before she finishes, but as we seem to be getting on I.
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